August 29, 2012: Can’t Fit Through the Bathroom Door
09/04/2012

          I finally got tired of being a cow and, about two months ago, put myself on a diet.

          I am, as the saying once went, “reducing.” And this time, I’m not going for anything radical or faddish. I’m not eating pounds of bacon (but no bread!) for breakfast; I’m not running around the block or subsisting on little squares of cardboard and pretending that’s lunch. I’m just eating less. I asked the Internet how many calories a person who never gets out of his chair and refuses to exercise should be consuming, and it told me. I complied. (It also helped that I stopped eating the fattening foods I normally prepare for my parents.)

          Anyway. It’s working. I’ve dumped 17 pounds. The weight didn’t come flying off, but it’s still gratifying to be able to button my pants.

Thing I Hate Today: My sluggish metabolism