August 22, 2012: Please, Santa

Please please please.

I want desperately to believe that this is a real thing, and that new mothers across the land are shoving plastic star-shaped fittings up their children’s asses. So that Little Tommy can shit a constellation!

Hey, it’s possible. I mean, peanut allergies are “real.”

 Thing I Hate Today: The word “locavore”

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