July 23, 2012: Wait for It

          Seriously, the next time a waiter or waitress asks me, “How is everything tasting for you?” I’m going to throw myself into traffic.

          Where did this phrase come from? Its inanity sends me around the bend; its grammatical flaws make me lightheaded with ire.

      No one used to say this. Waiters have always asked senseless questions, but not this one. How did it catch on? And what, exactly, does it mean? How can something taste for you?

      This phrase must be stopped.

     I’ve printed a short stack of small cards that I plan to take with me to every restaurant I dine in, to leave behind with my tip. The cards read, “Congratulations. You’re the seven millionth waitperson to ask me ‘How is everything tasting for you?’ This is not a real question, and saying it out loud makes you sound like a baboon. Copy this card and hand it out to every member of the waitstaff here, or you’ll be cursed with ten-percent tips for the rest of your career.”

          I’ll let you know how this works.

I don’t need to know what a preposition is to spit in your salad.

 Thing I Hate Today: Saturday Night Live

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3 Responses

  1. I love this idea! I do hope there will be a follow up blog post.

  2. while totally funny — it’s already bad enough to have a shit server job.

  3. Will you also please ask them to stop calling me and my daughters and our girlfriends “you guys?” Thanks.

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