July 8, 2012: Mother Goddam

     Here’s another entry from my high school diary—offering still more proof that I have been gay for 600 years.

October 23, 1977

Hey, Agnes,

           I’m watching Rhoda. I love Valerie Harper. Just got back from the orthodontist. He gave me elastics! Because my life wasn’t fucked-up enough, now I get to walk around with little rubber bands in my mouth.

          Got into a shit storm with Mrs. Dennis, the bitchy librarian at school. I went in to apply for the Library Science course (you have to apply like it’s some kind of honor to be allowed to shelve books and learn the Dewey decimal system, for Christ’s sweet sake) for next semester and I was carrying a copy of Mother Goddam, this amazing book about Bette Davis that I got from the public library. Dennis points to the book and says something

about the title, but I ignore her and say, “Yes, it’s about Bette Davis, who is the most amazing actress ever.” She gave me THAT look and said something like, “Hmm, that seems like an odd choice for a teenage boy.” I want to be accepted into the program because I like being in the library, it’s quiet there. Plus there’s only one student per class, so I wouldn’t have to deal with any morons, just snotty old lady librarians. So I chewed a hole through my cheek not saying anything pissy, just smiled and said, “I’ll be happy to loan it to you if you want.”

     If Dennis doesn’t OK me I’ll have to take Business Law next semester. Business Law. Library Science. Who thinks up these classes?

Thing I Hate Today: Denture adhesive commercials


One Response

  1. Robrt Pela,
    I am just getting your early July blog posts. What’s the hold up? You know I live and breath to read your rants.


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