June 21, 2012: Spectres

            I met Lady Leighton at Le Cercle for a coffee this morning. Le Cercle is the members-only café in Bargemon, and I’ve never been in 12 years. Tevye and I always sit a few tables down, at Café du Commerce, but Lady Leighton’s had her house here since the Seventies, and so she “belongs” to Le Cercle. The prices are the same as Café du Commerce, and so is the coffee, but you get a little cookie with every cup, and quite a few Frenchmen stop to kiss you on both cheeks. If you’re Lady Leighton, that is.

            “Wasn’t last night unusually still?” Lady L. inquired while we sipped.

            “Not at my place,” I replied. “The shutters and doors were banging all night long.”

            “Darling,” she sniffed. “You live next door to me. If I didn’t have a windstorm, neither did you. That shutter-banging was your ghosts, having a laugh.”

            I don’t believe in ghosts, but because Tevye and I own a 400-year-old home, people are always trying to convince us that we should. A shutter will fly open during a dinner party, and one of our guests will nod knowingly. “Les morts sont tres amusant!” they’ll say. Or a candle will blow out while we’re playing Scrabble with our neighbors, Liz and Josick, and Josick will laugh and start talking to the thin air about how arid it must have been in the 17th century.

            Hey, people. We’re on the top of a mountain in a 9th century village in a building erected in 1630. The windows are all open and it’s gusty out. Cut the crap. It’s not dead people; it’s the fucking wind.

            On the other hand, the eyes of the ancient painting of Monsier Berretti in our salon do seem to follow me around the room…

Stop staring.

Thing I Hate Today: A week has passed in the space of a minute


2 Responses

  1. Atheists never believe in ghosts or spirits until they get out of the shower and are face to face with one standing in their kitchen. Then they call there ghost believing girlfriend, who is visiting friends in Los Angeles, and say “I just got out of the shower and there is a ghost in the kitchen staring at me. I don’t believe in ghosts. What should I do?”

  2. How do you suppose I knew what after shave Lee REALLY wore? I notice it all the time even though I don’t own a bottle.

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