May 29, 2012: I Need It, Stat

Perhaps you were looking for this, and you got my blog, instead.

     I am absolutely mesmerized by something I discovered by accident in my blog stats. (I feel so 21st century, all of a sudden, knowing what “blog stats” are.)

     Deep in the bowels of my blog, I stumbled on this list of search engine terms that—unintentionally or otherwise—brought readers to my “writing.” Apparently blogs don’t just lie here, waiting to be read; they’re busily cataloguing how and why we found them.

     Here are some of the scarier terms that strangers out there in the world innocently typed into Google, and which somehow led them to my little brainchild:

 –catholic eucharist like mother’s milk

 –i hate when i go outside and someone throws a fridge at me (This one had two hits!)

 –lying on your back with legs in the air

 –jesus picture united nations building

 –elegant birthday cakes

 –can grandmas get postpartum depression?

 –writing tablet for flintstones

 –i hate it when your mom sucked my uncle

     That last one gave me the creeps, but no more so than the discovery that Sir Cliff Richard has more searches leading to my blog than do I, its author. Perhaps the saddest of the search terms was “I hate everything in my life,” which netted some poor soul only another blog full of blather from one more self-obsessed American.

Thing I Hate Today: The weeds in my garden

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3 Responses

  1. This made me smile, and then led me to look at mine. The search terms that have led people to Creative Infrastructure all seem to have something to do with the topics I write about, except, I think, this one: “Babes from Prague.” That guy must have been might disappointed.

  2. Life has become so curious this century.

  3. I did a similar thing, only using the “reverse image search” Cindy had taught me to do with images, and I kid you not, found my only-slightly-enhanced photos of Lee Harvey Oswald’s stomach hair on various fetish sights in Bangkok and Peking.

    I was touched, actually.

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