May 7, 2012: Things I Am Frightened By, Part Two

1. The possibility of farting during yoga class.

2. The inevitability of one of my parents falling and breaking a hip.

3. The thought that ice cream might one day cease to exist.

4. Celine Dion.

5. Images from the Holocaust.

6. That someone—anyone!—will one day figure out that I have no idea what I’m talking about.

7. The obvious fact that I’m going to be remembered by my family as obstreperous and unkind because I’ve chosen to keep my parents in their home, rather than in a “facility.”

8. My waistline.

Run screaming.

9. Those big foam rubber fingers that people wear at sporting events (what are those?).

10. That I will continue to be mistaken for Wilma Flintstone.

Thing I Hate Today: I can’t wear a proper hat without looking like Mr. Ed

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4 Responses

  1. My sister says I laugh like Betty Rubble, so maybe we should hang out.

  2. Farting, schmarting. Not to worry. It’s the SHARTING that’s a concern!

  3. One of the reasons I gave up yoga class…

  4. #7 frightens you? Stubborn…maybe. Unkind…nah!

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