April 30, 2012: Cold Spot

           I received an email yesterday from someone who wrote to say, “I’ve been reading your blog, and I expected it to be more about you hating different things. Maybe you should rename it.”

          Rather than do that, allow me to throw a hissy fit about something that drives me berserk with grief: The use of the refrigerator as something other than an appliance to prevent food from spoiling.

Were you raised by wolves, or something?

          I don’t get it. What is it about your Frigidaire that screams, “Use me as a bulletin board!”? Why is it that I haven’t been in a single kitchen in 33 years—other than my own—where the refrigerator isn’t completely covered with crap? News flash: Just because your plumber gives you a magnetic business card doesn’t mean you have to stick it to the front of your Samsung side-by-side. The fridge is a place to put soda pop and skirt steak, not seven different flyers from four different pizza parlors and a dry erase board and a cute picture of your dog and your kid’s fucking fingerpainting.

         And why is the top of your icebox piled high with so much junk? Your Hotpoint is a machine meant to keep your milk from curdling, not a shelf for cereal boxes and bags of chips and loaves of bread and a basket of brown bananas.

        Seriously. Get all the crap off your damn refrigerator. It looks ridiculous. And sloppy.

Thing I Hate Today: The phrase “At the end of the day…”

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8 Responses

  1. Never!

  2. You will be happy to know that my fridge has no crap .

  3. Robrt, I love a good rant. And that was a really good one. But I still love all the crap on my refrigerator. For a lot people it is like a miniature example of the freedom they used to exhibit in their teenaged rooms. And the fridge can be a lot more interesting than the rest of the house. -Carolyn Lavender

  4. My refrigerator has photos of YOU on it, Robrt Pela.

  5. Don’t visit those people

  6. Thank you Robrt. At the end of the day, your awesomeness is all that matters. Irregardless of what folks said back in the day, it’s awesome that you are there everyday to remind us of what the English language is really for, eckcetera. I look forward to seeing what tact you take next. Perhaps you will banish me from this blog in a week’s time. (Just don’t do it in a week’s square footage, please.)

  7. I’ve never seen a frig like this before. I can’t believe the top of a frig is the best place for prescription drugs and vitamins.

  8. I was not raised by wolves (though it may seem that way), but even when my home is tidy, I like to use the surfaces. And our nieces and nephews like to play with the magnets. Your home is beautiful and welcoming and personal, but I could not bear to live in it the way it looks. Perhaps clutter is stressful to you. Clutter makes me feel like I’m in a Matisse, and I like that.

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