April 3, 2012: Maundy Tuesday

I probably shouldn’t have said it.

            It was a bald-faced lie, and one I almost certainly said with a grump on my face. But, in my defense, it had been a long day of presumptuously ecumenical holiday greetings, and I’d reached my limit.

            It began, as so many things do, at Target. I was returning a pair of too-small espadrilles I’d bought for my mother. After swapping Size 10 for a Size 12, the cashier smiled wide and called out, “You have a Happy Easter!”

            Probably I scowled.

            It happened again at the doctor’s office (“Happy Easter!”) where I took Mom for a chest x-ray, and again later, at the lab (“Have a nice Easter!”) where we went for Mom’s annual TB test.

            Later, I met one of my collectors at the gallery where I curate art; she was picking up a painting she’d bought, and had brought along a friend. As they were leaving, the friend told me how nice it had been to meet me and to see the gallery, and then—you guessed it—wished me a Happy Easter.

            People are just trying to be nice, I assured myself for the fourth time that day. They don’t mean any disrespect.

            Still, I couldn’t help myself. Clasping her hand in mine, I looked her square in the eye and said, “I’m a Jew.”

Oh. And the x-ray tech's office had a bouquet of FLOWER PENS, besides.

Thing I Hate Today: Presumptiveness.


4 Responses

  1. how about happy pesach!?!

  2. Or perhaps you could have gone with “Thank you, I don’t celebrate Easter, but you feel free to have a lovely one yourself.” Avoiding the lie all together…… just sayin’….

  3. I think your thoughts during each “holiday” season. The simple assumption that all Americans are actively practicing some kind of Christian religion is ridiculous. Isn’t it something like only 35% of people today admit they practice Christianity? Anyway, I express the same thing you did because 1) Someone has to 2) To wake people up to the point I already made that NOT EVERYONE is a practicing Christiain and 3) I’m a “cultural jew”. I raised my half Jewish kids with all the Jewish traditions so I culturally created my kid’s Jewish reality. I can still be a Christian and a Cultural Jew at the same time and so can you. Merry Passover and don’t let Elijah take off with the Easter eggs…………

  4. Looking ahead toward next week, make sure to wish them a safe Friday the Thirteenth.

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